Top 16 List: Sixteen Author Outlaws

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Feeling shackled by what authors are told we MUST and MUST NOT do? Things like “never respond to reviews”, or “maintain a constant online presence” or “sell a million books all by yourself prior to the release date or your career is doomed” ?  Then feast your eyes on a rogues gallery of Author Outlaws…the ones who dared to defy the rules!

Outlaw #1:  Not on Twitter. Not on Pinterest. Doesn’t care.

Outlaw #2:  Called her copyeditor anonymously at 2 a.m. to demonstrate that you can, indeed, “breathe” dialogue.

Outlaw#3:  Freely admits he wrote his runaway bestselling picture book Look at the Pretty, Pretty Flowers on his iPhone at his sister’s wedding after his second bottle of champagne.

Outlaw #4: Plans to argue online with anyone who gives her book a bad review.

Outlaw #5: Her book opens with a prologue where the main character wakes up and looks in the mirror.

Outlaw #6: Writes children’s books; is actually terrified of children.

Outlaw #7: Surprise! The whole book was a dream!

Outlaw #8: Don’t tell her agent, but her secret WIP is: #$*?&@: A Preschooler’s Dictionary of Swear Words.

Outlaw #9: Ever since his divorce, puts his phone number next to his name at book signings.

Outlaw #10: Her latest book, The Squashing of the Vermin, features characters whose names are suspiciously the same as boys from her past.

Outlaw #11: Wrote a book about learning to respect your elders, and her grandchildren illustrated it. When it sells, she’ll use the advance to build a new library.

Outlaw #12: Exclusively writes main characters and love interests with bluish-purplish-green-gray eyes.

Outlaw #13: Has decided to spend 99% of her advance on attending one writers’ conference, staying in the penthouse suite at the conference hotel and ordering the in-room chef dining service every night by herself.

Outlaw #14: Writes numerous blog posts and tweets shouting “always be writing the next book!” but has been working on the second book forEVER yet always has time to watch the latest hyped series on Netflix.

Outlaw #15: In downtime, works on a filthy, profanity-filled picture book, and sends it to his agent with a ten-point missive explaining exactly why he believes this will sell.  Never admits to it being a joke.

Outlaw #16: Googles the latest-selling trends to ensure a quick sale for book two. Can’t decide on which trend to write, so he decides to make book two a fanfic of a fanfic he read about on someone’s fanfic blog.

Contributors:  Bridget Hodder, Sarah Ahlers, Ami Allen-Vath, Amy Allgeyer, Brooks Benjamin, Victoria Coe, Kurt Dinan, Emily Henry, and Lee Gjertsen Malone

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